Tale of the Trail – Chicago Hash #1479
Feb. 25 #1479 the Hash Ball Hangover Hash
Hare: Chicken Stiffer-CH3 GM
Virgin: Just Lindsey
Locals: Cunt & Pasties, Smell This, Boner Malfunction, Two Tickets too a Pair a Thighs, Flying Hooters, Mount Schwinga, Its too Soft, Cum in My Assfault, Horn-e, Just Do Me Slowly, Virtually Hung, and Calvin Klein
The hash started late because it was waiting for a carload of hashers arriving from Casa De SMELL THIS. He had with him BONER, TWO TIKS, and MOUNT SCHWINGA. It turns out that TWO TIKS never even made it home from hash ball and was wearing other people’s clothes to hash this day. The weather was very shitty this day we had rain, sleet, snow, etc. and the ground was covered with giant puddles of cold wet water. The Trail was short but between Casa De CHICKEN and the bar I believe the hash found every major puddle, pothole and ice patch.
The hash was very happy that the run was about a mile because most were still hung over from the previous night. Even BONER who partied in Lisle claimed to be a little tired from Saturday’s fun. BONER even brought a virgin with him this day JUST LINDSEY welcome to the hash and please show up for the Green Dress run in St. Louis March 17. VIRTUALLY HUNG played the role of FRB for the better part of the trail while CNT & PASTIES took care of our virgin making sure she didn’t get lost on trail. FLYING HOOTERS and ITS TOO SOFT were found impersonating monkeys when they climbed fences to get themselves over Amazon River found in one of the alleys the trail went through. TWO TICKETS looked like a bunny running with her pink jacket on.
The Hash made it to the beer stop and watched the beginning of the OSU vs. Wisc. Basketball game but they were soon back out on trail and at the bar. The Circle was run by the CH3 RA CALVIN KLEIN who was found without BATTERIES claiming that she was wasted from the night before. The hare got down- downs for the crappy trail but really got nailed because he was smart enough to wear his boots on Trail; I guess this made the circle mad because my feet were dry. The circle ended in record time and MOUNT SCHWINGA was soon challenging some chicks on the dartboard. The hash broke for home around 6 pm where we watched the Oscars and all went to bed with a fine weekend of drinking behind us.