The Tale of the Trail
The Chicago Hash. 17 Apr 2010 by Horn-E
The hares were R-Tard-E and Pokehisanus and many were worried and saying how risky it was to pit these tow together for a trail. Well, in their early haring days they had some problems, but both hares have gotten much better and are better then some of their worst detractors of late. So I wasn’t worried and expected a good and adventurous trail. It was okay. All right, it was shitty.
I counted 24 hounds heading out on trail thanks to visitors and virgins. The bartender was being a dick with ID at the start. But we finally got outside and ready for a chalk talk. We headed northwest in an alley and over Armitage and finally to a Check at Armitage and Milwaukee. Confusion reigned here, but finally marks were found to the SW on Milwaukee and then north on Western. I think that is what happened. Anyway, there was another Check just north of Armitage on Western. Again, hashers running around. Finally Horn-E spotted a mark east on Mclean and ahead there was Come More Often yelling On. He had a Triple Split at Oakley and went south. Horn-E went straight and was On and had to run through a front entrance of a school and back and forth and such until he had to climb over a fence into the school playground. Meanwhile Corn Star entered the school yard from the street and was the FRB until she exited the school yard and some free ranging hounds were already ahead of her. That is how we all feel, just as you get ahead on trail, someone is ahead because they were off trail. This did lead us back to Mclean and then east to a Check. By this point I ran into Goldiloxxx who remembered me from Camp Hedon in the 90s when I was shaving pussies there. After I left, he took over the duties. Hey, it is a dirty job, but somebody has to do it. Ended up falling behind around here while checking in the wrong direction and we eventually headed south of Armitage to Bloomingdale and then east along the tracks to a T and E Split. I saw hashers ahead and just ran towards them and found out later that both T and E just looped right back to Bloomingdale. We ran on to Marshfield and then through a dog park and over a fence and down a wall. By the time I got here, the pack leaders were across Ashland and heading north. This turned out to be a False. Not knowing exactly where the Check was, Horn-E headed south and just started running. The pack was following and finally Horn-E found a third arrow and we were On. This led to a quick loop into an alley and back through an empty lot where Slippery Box passed Horn-E. Upon emerging Horn-E spotted the following pack and was able to short cut some with the Horn. A Split led us back across Ashland and Horn-E regained the lead into a small parking lot and out the other side and back south. By now short cutters were already to the south and led the pack through an alley and to the east. Along here, I got overheated and stripped off a shirt and long sweat pants. This put me near the back and I spent the rest of the trail back there with the back of the pack and Pokehisanus sweeping. We headed west on North and through a lot of angled streets and alleys and eventually down an alley to a locked gate and the back yard of Pokehisanus’s pad. Here the pack was sitting drinking beer. All was good.
From here we headed north on Western and back to the bar. The other bartender wasn’t there and we all got in without I Ds and settled into some beer. One hasher was a virgin running with a puppy and definitely under 21. He arrived with Betty Boop from Trinidad and was her nephew. She stayed only through the short first circle and disappeared and I didn’t get a chance to meet her. Beer was cheap cans and after an initial buy, we suspended circle and left. Apparently the bartender didn’t like us singing in the back room. So we went down the street to a 2218 Tap Room. Peterbilt had us in here once before. They were more receptive and we went into the beer garden for more circle where Genesis finished it for us.
Finally we came back inside and went through many a picture of beer.
Others in attendance on trail were Glory Hole, Are They Real, Hoosier Daddy, More Tail, Skull & Bone’Her, Fistful Of Pricks, SnatchSquatch, Mouthful Of Meat, Dark Side Of The Poon, Chicken Stifer, Magnetic Muff, Just Do Me Slowly, Lifa, Just Tim, Its Too Soft, Just Brendan, and Just Miguel, a virgin. Welcome. Non runners were Genesis, Tinkle Trotsky and Peterbilt.