The Tale of the Trail
The Chicago Hash 20 Sept, 2010 by Horn-E
We ran from the Pitch on Clybourn. Hared by our own Hoosier Daddy, and a transplant, Way To Much Jism from Waukesha. And they don’t want to let her go. Three Waukesha hashers came all the way down to run her hash, cheer her on, and trash her in the circle. I can’t tell you anything about how the rest of the hash ran that trail as I didn’t see anyone on trail. I arrived during the circle and still had to change clothes. The pack ran off towards Southport and then south. Way To Much Jism told me that Hoosier Daddy would sweep. I ran into the bar and changed clothes and came out in pursuit. The first mark I saw was a straight line with two lines through it made with flour. Was this supposed to be true trail marks on a line instead of an arrow or a sloppy False. I tried False and went back only to find a flour circle. Was that a Check? And it wasn’t marked by the sweep. Nothing was throughout the whole trail. Isn’t that the purpose of the sweep, to mark the trail for anyone who falls way behind. Was this supposed to be a Check? Let’s assume so. I headed west and no marks. Cross the street and found one mark. The second mark looked like a Split, only coming from the other way. (?) I checked out all ways anyhow and found nothing. I next went back to that False/True Trail (?) mark and checked out the area. Nothing. So I headed north on Clybourn. One mark and nothing else. Next I headed over to Southport and found a mark heading north. This was on and it was now 8:00. No hope of ever catching the pack. Not even at a beer stop. I got lucky at the next unmarked Check at Fullerton and went right. and the next Split, right. This led to a gangway and no marks at the other end. (?) But I soon found it and now realized that every mark meant I had to check each intersection, whether there was a Split or not. I now found a Triple split and one direction looked like it was marked. It was true trail and this led to Wrightwood Park and another Split. Both directions apparently were On with one just running around a circle and into the other. (?) I found the exit from the park and there was a well lit, big white line pointing west. Yeah sure. Nothing anywhere. Upon returning, I noticed that it wasn’t a well lit, line pointing east, but a Split and the west portion was completely hidden in shadows. I ran ON to Ashland and another unmarked Check. West got me nowhere. South got me somewhere. Heading back to the bar. There was no way I was going to go on. I would have been out until 10:00 on that trail.
Back at the bar, the pack arrived about fifteen minutes later. They echoed my sentiments about the marks and told me that the hares were mostly up front helping the FRBs find trail instead of in back marking Checks and Splits. At least some of them. But the beer started to flow and at $5 PBR, all was good. R-Tard-E and Vote For Pedro tag teamed as RAs and got us through the circle. Somehow. We were introduced to our Virgin, Just Ryan. And he wanted more beer to chug. Good. Then we were introduced to the visitors from Waukesha, Bubbles, Saxamabone, and Just Cindy. And no, that was not Horn-E and Bubbles licking Just Cindy’s tits. The pictures all lie. We also met Just Keela (sp) who was there taking pictures for (?). There were two other visitors, Vote for Pedro from Texas and Bonor Malfunction former Chicago area hasher, now in Jacksonville or (?). After we finished the circle, we all settled into doing what hashers don’t need practice for, drinking the endless supply of beer. We had two non running hashers in Its Too Soft and EZ On The Ass who bought a pitcher of good beer. Thanks EZ. The hashers on trail, not already mentioned included Two Tickets To Pair A Thighs, Flying Hooters, Corn Star, Ginger Snatch, Just Cindy, Just Mo, Just Amanda, and Chippendale