The Tale of the Trail
The Chicago Hash, 30 Jan 2011 by Horn-E
This was the birthday hash for Calvin Klein and he and Batteries Not Included were our hares from Joe’s again. $3.75 pitchers of water. I mean Coors Light. And cupcakes and pizzas.
But first the trail. The hares they went and laid a shitty trail. and Happy Ass Grabber really started out the circle in a shitty manner. Was this a prophecy. We had a pack of 18, the first good sized pack for Chicago in some time. We headed to the east and through an alley. Was there a Check? The pack was scattered and I was off with Just Clio to the north when the pack took off to the south, We followed them through two alleys until I spotted a short cut through an empty lot. The pack was swinging north and we followed across North ave in an alley and on across Halsted. Horn-E was definetly falling behind with only Just Shawnna behind him. That didn’t last long and he was soon all alone in the back. In the distance he could see Return To Gender from Madison and Its Too Soft. they occasionally drifted in sight and out of sight. Like at Clybourn where Horn-E caught the light and they disappeared again. Trail went north behind the old Goose Island brewery building and to the north to Cortland and then a long straight stretch across the river and to a Check at Elston. So far guessing right at each unmarked Split and Check was working. It was mostly easy to predict this trail and the marks weren’t far out, which explains why the pack got so stretched out. Anyhow, guessing the trail went south on Elston proved correct and the first mistake was made at the next Split. One arrow pointed up onto the tracks. Could we possibly be getting into some good shit. Not. Coming back Horn-E found Its Too Soft and Return To Gender coming up behind him and passing him. Now where did he pass them? Anyhow, the three mostly ran together all of the way back to the bar on a fairly straight back course. Dead Fucking Last. Not. about five minutes later Lifa came in bitching about how none of the Splits or Checks were marked. That’s because the hares stayed in the bar and drank beer while we ran. And how in hell did we get past Lifa?
In the circle, Uploader was called for being the FRB. And the hares got numerous well deserved down downs and several birthday down downs. Calvin Klein led the circle and we all had a good time until the pizza arrived. Fuck the circle, that pizza was good. Good cupcakes for desert and we all finally left. Who else was on trail? Rhotan, 10 Dix With Wings, Mouthful Of Meat, Platypussy, Taste The Rainbow, Just Lisa, Chicken Stifer, Poultry Fucker, Just Ryan and Just Chris. Soul Taco and Ice Princess showed up late for the party looking like the newest Hash Couple in matching colors. I just found out that Ice Princess is planning on doing an Iron Man Triathalon in Sept. That is a hell of a lot more work then I ever plan on doing for any event. Good luck.
Damn, I just checked the snow at 2AM. My courtyard has 15 good solid inches of snow. The hashing is really going to be good this weekend.