The Tale of the Trail
The Chicago Hash, Feb 13, 2011 by Horn-E
This was from Burton Place and our hares were Sandy Syphilis and Mount Schwiiinga. We had 19 trail hounds on a beautiful day as all of the cuddly house bound puppies finally came out. We headed to the west to La Salle and a Split. Trail went south to a Check a block later. Up Loader took off like a streak and found trail through Sandburg Village. Unfortunately he missed a turn into a gangway. But Horn-E and Virgin Banger didn’t and led to the next Check at Goethe and Clark. They went east and only found two marks. Trail went south to a Triple Split at Division. With Horn-E and Virgin Banger running parallel, they spotted a mark on Division and were off in front again. A block later I found myself already falling back and that was the last I saw of the lead. Well, I did see the lead several more times. About a block away, just as the leader found the third mark after a Check. We did wander the Gold Coast and finally headed to the lake in the tunnel on North Ave. I did notice our four virgins, running like the four horseman. Or was it like some top ten runners in the Shamrock Shuffle. This led to a trip over the foot bridge and back into the park. I was now running with Soggy Deposits, Tumbleweed of the Pubes, International Virgin and Salty Gash. We barely managed to keep someone in sight as we enter the city on Armitage and worked our way south and west to the residence of Sandy Syphilis. and here we had to go through this narrow canyon and through a waterfall, full with the spring melt down, before climbing to the top of the mountain. Or was it a narrow gangway and a rooftop deck. Here there was fruit drinks available. No beer despite a BN on trail. We did find the short cutters Are They Real, Rent A Virgin and The Virgin’s Virgin.
After this we headed back to the bar where we found a six pack of house puppies, Chicken Stifer, R-Tard-E, Calvin Klein, SnatchSquatch, Batteries Not Included and Beer Spill Valdez.
We headed to the upper bar where Are They Real got the beer flowing. and it was just about all good beer as all beers were $8/pitcher and naturally we wanted good beers. Calvin Klein soon called a circle together and it was a good circle as he nailed the hares for that shitty trail and many others. We did have four virgins to call out and introduce to the hash. they included Just Stephani, Just Dale, Just Christy, and Just Adam #2. The party did rage on for once as we continued drinking the good beer available. Other hounds on trail included Just Chris, Just Adam #1, Glory Hole, Its Too Soft and O’Shitty Runch.
On On
Horn-E