The Tale of the Trail
Chicago Hash, 6 Mar 2011, by Horn-E
We met at Brenden’s Too and out hares were Salty Gash and The International Virgin. This was also Salty Gash’s first time haring. Oooops. Actually it wasn’t a bad course and longer then we have been getting use to lately with to many shorter trails. Good. We are a running club. And there were some straights that were verging on to long. We also had a problem with marks being to far apart, and often not were we would normally look for them. Add to that the flour marks in blue and red on snow, that melted, leaving the marks sinking into grass and harder to see. All right, I’m criticizing, but Salty Gash wanted to know. She’ll get better as she hares more often.
We took off to the north for a block and then headed west. Chicken Stifer was already short cutting and we didn’t see him again until the beer stop. At Kedzie we had a Triple Split and SnatchSquatch swore it would go south. Another MIA. It went west and north and never went south. Meanwhile, The new hasher, Pool Job, who actually ran from the lakefront about three miles to the start, was still warmed up and he just headed west and we barely kept him in sight for most of the trail. We did head west and west and a bit north and very infrequent Splits and Checks and worked our way almost to Pulaski and north to Foster. I did find myself running with various hashers along the way, O’Shitty Runch, Lifa, Pull My Pork, 10 Dix With Wings and others. But always there seemed to be someone disappearing two blocks ahead and looking back, someone a block or more behind. Strung out all over. We finally turned back to the east and went through a park and over a bridge and west towards North Park College. I was now running with Lifa and we could see a group ahead including Magnetic Muff in bright yellow. We went down an alley and came to Kimball. Those in front went through a parking lot and Horn-E was falling behind. Yes, again. Getting stuck with traffic, he headed south and then entered North Park College Campus a half block later. Now paralleling those just ahead, He came to a path near a bridge. 10 Dix With Wings came his way saying she was at a Check. We had those on this trail? Anyway, we found a mark. Horn-E led across a footbridge and found another. 10 Dix With Wings took the lead and found a third. After blowing the horn several times, he finally saw Lifa in the distance following. Go. And we did. We came to a Triple Split at Kedzie and 10 Dix With Wings was on straight. By then, Horn-E was a block south and he paralleled for several blocks finally spotting Pull My Pork coming his way. There was another Check to the north and apparently we caught a pack in front of us. Pull My Pork did manage to find the trail and Horn-E was right behind him. We worked our way south and back west, across Kedzie to the Beer Stop at the home of Salty Gash. She actually let us inside and there were Jello shots and other shots and beer and all was good.
Now, Salty Gash lives right across the hall from Magnetic Muff. She managed to leave the marks around their condo building after Magnetic Muff left for the hash so even she didn’t know where the beer stop would be. Well done.
Back at the bar we finally got into the beer and had a circle. We were formally introduced to our virgin, Just Reed. Welcome to hashing. And we had a visitor from Washington DC, Bored And Curious. After the circle, SnatchSquatch held one of the better naming circles I’ve seen. Orderly and mostly calm. We got many good ideas and finally we named Just John, Caught Red Headed. A take off on his red hair and ……
The hash lasted late and many got some food from across the street and just stayed on as the beer kept flowing. O’Shitty Runch managed to talk Cum In My Ass Fault to ride home with him on his bike, a tandem bike. Caught Red Headed, Horn-E, SnatchSquatch and Two Girls One Cupcake finally closed it out about 11:30. Others on trail hounds were Mouthful Of Meat, Its Too Soft, Beer Spill Valdez, Corn Star, and Glory Hole. We also had a bunch of house puppies show up, The Dark Kunt, Mudsucker, Mount Schwiiinga, Rotten Whore and her friend, Just Rick.