Category: All Chicago Hash Runs

CH3 #1530

Chicago #1530 @ The Union – Super Bowl Sunday Hash
Hares: Just Stephanie, Just I LEAN & Just Tyrone
Venue: The Union and Super Bowl Party

Our friend TJ is giving the hash $5 domestic draft pitchers until just before kickoff when the bar’s usual Super Bowl package kicks in which should give us plenty of dinking time before the game. For those who have never been, this is not some obscure dive bar near City Limits but a mainstream Big Ten classic in the heart of Lincoln Park/Lakeview.

SUPER BOWL XLII will be 5:30 that evening after the hash so currently no plans to change the start time of hash as of yet and the NSA’s Echelon network has picked up several intercepts in the Middle East about a possible Super Bowl party after the hash.

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Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Belmont, hoof it three blocks South to George and two blocks East to Halsted or take Halsted 8 bus to the bar from wherever you’re at.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Belmont, take the Belmont #77 bus East to Halsted, hoof it four blocks South to the bar.

Driving
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Halsted & George whist hastening the arrival of the day when farms around Chicago will abandon wheat, corn and soybeans in favor of date palms, pineapples and sugar cane. Of course the places that currently cultivate these crops will then be slightly cooler than the Equator of Mercury in the Summer.

Best bet is to find a meter on Halsted that you don’t have to feed on Sundays or hit the side streets, just be aware they’re all Zone 838 so you have to move your car by 6pm.

CH3 #1526

Chicago Hash #1526 @ Glascott’s/Kelly’s Pub – Kickoff 2008 Hash

Hare(s): Mouthful of Meat & Super Stuff’her
Venue: Glascott’s @ Webster & Halsted – 2158 N. Halsted
Hash Cash: $6 – still as of now unaffected by either $100/barrel crude oil or Barack Obama’s win in Iowa

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Get your hashing year started off right with our first official Chicago Hash of 2008! There are two very unremarkable NFL wild card playoff games which will also be on TV for your additional enjoyment. Note: despite the bar location, the beer stop will NOT BE AT PARTY CENTRAL.

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit ?
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Fullerton, hoof it two blocks East and two blocks South to Halsted & Webster or hop the Brown Line to Armitage and hoof it two blocks North and two blocks East to H&W. Or take the Halsted #8 bus from anywhere near Halsted to Webster.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to California and take the Fullerton #74 bus East to Halsted, hoof it two blocks South to Webster.

Driving ?
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Halsted & Webster. Park on a side street, Zone 143 permit doesn’t kick in until 6pm or if you’re lucky grab a meter spot on Halsted. Note there’s a lot of non-zone parking just East of Halsted next to Oz Park.

CH3 #1525

Chicago Hash #1525 @ The Atlantic: Eve of the Eve Hash

December 30, 2007 8:23 pm / itstoosoft
Hare(s): Just I-Lean & Just Jonathan

Venue: The Atlantic – 5062 N. Lincoln (2-1/2 blocks straight up Lincoln from the Western Brown Line stop)

Hash Cash: $6 – Outsourcing to India and China of noncritical CH3 backoffice operations such as the employee cafeteria, Accounts Payable, IT, Global Supply Chain & Logistics, Customer Service, Audit, Aircraft Fleet Maintenance, and the Help Desk as well as tactically-opportune purchases of subprime mortgage-based SIV’s and the sale of and subsequent lease back of the CH3 Tower in the Loop allow the CH3 to streamline operations and offer hashes at up to 20% less than other area shops. Harlots will continue to be sourced domestically pending the outcome of union negotiations with the UAW as well as fluctuations in the price of Ytterbium.

Somebody please take some pix of this event as the Fujirazzi will be at Lambeau Field watching the Packers whoop all over the Lions and drinking tons of Wisconsin’s finest BEER! Given the way they did against the Bears last week thus losing home field advantage in the playoffs there will probably be fewer starters on the field than an August preseason game against the Dolphins – D’OH!!

These cats say we get $6 pitchers!!!

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit ?
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Belmont, Brown Line to Western, hoof it about t 2-1/2 blocks Northwest up Lincoln to the bar.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Jefferson Park, #81 Lawrence bus (runs every 8-11 mins) East to Lincoln/Western, schlep 2-1/2 blocks Northwest on Lincoln to bar.

Driving ?
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Lawrence and Winnemac (about 2 blks West of Western). Parking is generally okay in this area on Sundays on the side streets, better to west of Lincoln.

CH3 #1524

Chicago Hash #1524 @ Morgan’s: Pre-Christmas / Chicken Stiffer Birthday Hash

Chicken Stiffer
Venue: Morgan’s Bar & Grille – 1325 S. Halsted St.
Chicago, IL 60607, 312-243-4800
Hash Cash: $6

Somebody please take some pix of this event as the Fujirazzi will be running with the Philly Hash over Christmas weekend.

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The Chicago Hash will leave the greatly overhashed Lincoln Park area on Sunday and head (who said head?) South to the UIC are Morgan’s Bar and Grill on Maxwell Street.

Come out and celebrate our GM Chicken Stiffer’s Golden Anniversary of his 21st Birthday and the fact there are now coal seams in Western China younger than he is. Actual birthday is earlier in the weekend so there may be Friday night pre-lube festivities also. Since his birthday is right next to Christmas, he’s been getting “combined” birthday & Christmas presents for years and is very bitter about it. Come out and see a long, bitter trail set by a very bitter hare!

Neighborhood: Little Italy/University Village

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit ?
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to North/Clyborn, Halsted 8 bus South to Maxwell St.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Grand/Halsted Milwaukee, Halsted 8 Bus South to Maxwell St.

Driving ?
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Halsted & Maxwell. Parking is not bad a block or so off of Halsted either direction. Obviously away from UIC (South, East) is better.

CH3 #1523

Chicago Hash #1523 – Post Anthrax Hannukah Hangover Hash @ Hidden Shamrock

Hare(s): Fluffer from Sin City
Venue: Paddy Long’s – 1028 W. Diversey (just West of Diversey & Sheffield and the now-closed Diversey Brown Line Stop)
Hash Cash: $6

Includes short trail, beers, and NFL Football!!! Bears get their butts kicked Monday night so lots of other games to watch on the Telly.

A-B-C Trail. Fluffer from Sin City has graciously volunteered to lay trail for us so we’re continuing the CH3 tradition of bringing hashing to trendy/upscale Lincoln Park/Lakeview bars and this week we check out Paddy Long’s (the old Lawry’s Tavern).

NOTE 11am START time so visitors can catch their trains, Megabuses, etc or get a jump on weekend traffic.

Okay so actual Hannukah ended on 12/12 but the theme gives us such great alliteration!

Environmentally-Friendly Public Transit ?
From Lincoln Park/Lakeview: Red Line to Fullerton, hoof it four blocks North to Diversey and head West on Diversey 1/2 block. Or just walk a few blocks from home.
From Wicker Park/Bucktown: Blue Line to Belmont, Belmont #77 bus East to Sheffield, schlep four blocks South to Diversey, 1/2 block West to bar.

Driving ?
Hop into your hooptie and cruise to Diversey & Sheffield. Find parking by meters or side streets. It’s Sunday so you don’t have to feed most of the meters around there but check to be sure.

Anthrax 2007

Chicago #1522 – 6th Great Chicago Anthrax Scare Hash
Published by itstoosoft on November 19, 2007 in special events, all events & runs and chicago hash runs.

The World’s Longest-Running* Hash Anthrax Scare Celebration**

Saturday, December 15, MMVII, Meet at 1400hrs CST, on out at 1430hrs (2:30pm)

Click Here for New Anthr@x 6 Rego Form or signup online via PayPal, below:

IMPORTANT NOTICE TO REGISTRANTS – New this year we are offering personalized hash name tags including the picture of your choice. If you would like a picture on your tag please email it Mt. Schwiiinga at [email protected] by December 7th. If not, we may pick one for you from our extensive library of icky, horrible and generally unmentionable things. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Join the Chicago Hash House Harriers for our Winter 2007 Flagship Event – the 6th Anniversary of Chicago’s Great Anthrax Scare of 2002!!!

To view the authentic news media coverage on the 2002 Anthrax Scare click here
More time to kill? Check out Flying Booger’s remarks on Chicago 6th Antrhax on his Half Mind Blog here

(*) refers to most consecutive years, not length of trails
(**) longest-running and also the only one that we are aware of

Never before seen bonus vintage Anthrax Pic! Here is a shot of the Hazmat Hare at Chicago O’Hare Fire Station #3 where he was escorted by the Chicago Police on Christmas Eve 2002 after explaining over the Fire Department’s radio to on-site first responders that our trial marks in Lincoln Park were only harmless flour. The cops and firefighters there were really cool about it and even let me get a picture next to one of their fire engines.

It is interesting that the Chicago Fire Department at O’Hare has yellow rather than red trucks and a flying eagle logo (you can see part of it to the far right of the cab) instead of the regular nested-lettter CFD logo. The only other civilians who have ever been this close to this equipment have been involved in aircraft mishaps! I suppose this was better…

FRIDAY NIGHT – 6th Anthrax Pre-Lube “Mini” Pub Crawl in Wrigleyville or Lakeview
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Friday, December 14th 6:00pm- ????

Last year so many people from Big Hump came ready to rock they blew out our party at The Union so this year we’ve brought friends to the fight and are unleashing a full-blown Fuji pub crawl instead. Will Big Hump have GAME? Can Indyscent REPRESENT? Will Madison swear off drinking alcohol forever after HITTING THIS WALL? Come find out!

Bars and specials TBA but as many of us will already have done back-to-back 12 Bars of Christmas blowouts the previous two weekends, this one will have “no more than six bars”!

SATURDAY – The Main Event – Chicago Run #1522 The 6th Annual Great Chicago Anthrax Scare Hash / Santa Hat Run
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Saturday, December 15 Meet @2pm, out at 2:30pm (at 2:31 you are on your own!)

Hares: It’s Too Soft (the original Hazmat Hare), Chicken Stiffer, Calvin Klein, Super Stuff’her (Big Hump cannot possibly get us all too drunk to lay a death march trail!)
Venue: The home of the original Anthrax Run – Hidden Shamrock Club – 2723 N. Halsted (Halsted & Diversey, just East of the [closed] Diversey Brown Line Stop). A–B-C run. Bring your EURail Pass unless you want to walk back to your car.

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Price includes a Santa Hat, hazmat suit for the run, commemorative t-shirt (if paid by Nov 30), surprise bonus tchotchke, and four hours of open bar and food at the on-in party.

Hash Hotels: Days Inn Lincoln Park (~$100/night) http://www.lpndaysinn.com/index2.html
Arlington House (~$50/60/night) http://www.arlingtonhouse.com/

Event security provided by Blackwater USA

Prices: $39 Dec 1 – Dec 14; $44 day of, if available and no guarantees of any bonus gifts or t-shirts (add $1.43 to the $39 price to cover processing fees for Paypal option). Or for 41 cents you can snail mail in your rego the ole’ fashioned way! Postmark determines cutoff pricing as always and Australian Rules Football apply.

Click Here for New Anthr@x 6 Rego Form or signup online via PayPal, below:

Shirt Size
Hash Name / Nerd Name / Home Hash
Make payments with PayPal – it’s fast, free and secure!
Whooz Cumming So Far? A sort of somewhat up to date list..

It’s too Soft – Chicago H3 Hazmat HARE!
Chicken Stiffer – Chicago H3 HARE & GM!
Calvin Klein – Chicago H3 HARE
Super Stuffer – Chicago H3 HARE
Are They Real – Chicago H3
Just Alex – Chicago H3
Salty Gash – Chicago H3
PackHer Ass – Chicago H3
69-cent man – Chicago H3
Milk My Yak – Chicago H3
Barks On All Fours – Chicago H3
Ballsalotpus – Chicago H3
Just Angelle – Chicago H3
Just Steve – Chicago H3
Just Saud – Chicago H3
Spotted Cock – Chicago H3
Lifa – Chicago H3
Mouthful of meat – Chicago H3
Batteries Not Included – Chicago H3
Just Esther – Chicago H3
W’all Bangher – Chicago H3
Anal Assault – Chicago H3
Mt Schwiiinga – Chicago H3
Just Molly – Chicago H3
Just Jonathan – Chicago H3
Anal Assualt – Chicago H3
Stab’em * Slab’em – Chicago H3
The Grrreat Loch Ness Cockster – Chicago H3
Just Rob – Chicago H2
2 Tickets 2 a Pair o Thighs – Chicago H3
Just Tyrone – Chicago H3
Sperm Diversion – CH3
Odor Eater – Chicago H3
Rotn’ Whore – Chicago H3

Just Pat – Chicago H3
Just Tom – Chicago H3
Just Katherine – Chicago H3
Flying Hooters – Chicago H3
Virtually Hung – Chicago H3
C*nt & Pasties – Chicago H3
One-Handed Typist – Chicago H3

Ram Van Thank You M’am – Thirstday H3

Chicago H3 Alumni
Canned Pussy – Somewhere in DC
Smell This – New York H3

Rhotan – Second City HHH

Grass On the Infield – Waukesha H3
Floundering Ass Plant – Waukesha H3
Grizzly Sodoms – Waukesha H3
Hand Solo – Waukesha H3
Just Kristen – Waukesha H3
Copulator!! – Waukesha H3

Mount Van Tramp
Dribbles In- Madison H3
Trailer Trash
Return to Gender – Madison H3
ZamBoner – Madison H3
Different Strokes- Madison H3
Himalayme – Madison H3
Eggbeater – Madison H3

Scratch & Sniff – Kenosha
Stupid Man – Kenosha

Oral Persuasion – Indyscent HHH

Ash Cache B’gash – Hoosier H3
Vazeliney Greazy Beaver – Hoosier H3

Cliff BangHer – Big Hump
Burning A$$hole – Big Hump
Hummers Para Libre – Big Hump
Dos HiXXies – Big-Hump H3
Flossit w/a Faucet – Big Hump!
Sexorcist – Big-Hump H3
Do My Butt!! – Big-Hump, Bitches!
I Have a Dick – Big-Hump H3
GladHeAteHer – Big Hump H3
Lock Nut Monster – Big Hump H3
Strap-On Strap-Off – Big Hump
Dead Squirrel – Big Hump
PMS – Big Hump
Postage Tramp – Big Hump

Horny Again – Sin City H4
The Unalicker – Sinc City H4
Fluffer – Sin City H4

Pornogenic – Bell Scott
2 F*ck Canuck – Bell Scott

Laa-Laa – Carolina Trash H3 / Big Hump H3
Trout Stash – ???
Rambutt – Every Day is Wednesday
Slowman – Baltimore
Roll On – Baltimore
Amelia Airhead – BH3
A Salt My A$$ – EWH4 DC
Hot Lips – Grand Rapids GM

Special Note to Registrats: New this year we are offering personalized hash name tags including the picture of your choice. If you would like a picture on your tag please email it Mt. Schwiiinga at [email protected] by December 7th. If not, we may pick one for you from our extensive library of icky, horrible and generally unmentionable things.

SUNDAY – Chicago HHH First Annual Hannukah Hangover Hash
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Sunday, December 16 @11am
Hare(s): Thanks to Fluffer from Sin City for volunteering yet again!
Location TBA (somewhere in Lincoln Park/Lakeview close to the hash hotels & hash crash)

Includes short trail, beers, and NFL Football!!!
Okay so actual Hannukah ended on 12/12 but the theme gives us such great alliteration!

The World’s Longest-Running* Hash Anthrax Scare Celebration**