Mayor of Bayswater (Hairs of Her Dickie-Di-Doe)

NOTES: The first verse is sung, followed by the chorus. Additional verses are then added, alternating with the chorus. The additional verses take the place of the first two lines of the first verse – the second two lines of the first verse are repeated every time. The song concludes with the singing of the chorus.

MAYOR OF BAYSWATER’S DAUGHTER (HAIRS OF HER DICKIE-DI-DOE)

Melody – The Ash Grove

FIRST VERSE:
The Mayor of Bayswater,
He has a lovely daughter,
And the hairs on her dickie-di-doe,
Hang down to her knees.

CHORUS:
And the hairs, (And the hairs!)
And the hairs, (And the hairs!)
And the hairs on her dicky-di-doe,
Hang down to her knees.

One black one, one white one,
And one with a bit of shite on,
And one with a fairy light on
To show us the way.

And the hairs, (And the hairs!)
And the hairs, (And the hairs!)
And the hairs on her dicky-di-doe,
Hang down to her knees.

Additional Verses:

I’ve smelt it, I’ve felt it,
It’s just like a bit of velvet.

I could not believe my eyes,
When I peered down between her thighs.

I she were my daughter,
I’d have her cut them shorter.

I parted her lips back,
And pulled out a thirty-rack.

I finished that thirty-rack,
And threw all the fucking empties back.

I stroked ’em and poked ’em,
I rolled ’em and smoked ’em.

You’d need a coal miner,
To find her vagina.

She says she is not a whore,
But she bangs like a shithouse door.

She married an Italian,
Who was hung like a stallion.

She divorced the Italian,
And married the fucking stallion.

She married a Spaniard,
With a prick like a bloody lanyard.

She divorced the Spaniard,
And ran off with the bloody lanyard.

The aroma it lingers,
It smells like fish fingers.

She sat on the waterfront,
With the waves lapping up and down her cunt.

She went to Arabia,
And got camel drool on her labia.

She went with a Hash House Harrier,
Who fucked her but wouldn’t marry her.

She stayed on a cattle ranch,
And came like an avalanche.

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