Mismanagement

Like any poorly properly run organization, the Chicago Hash House Harriers have layers upon layers of mismanagement at which you can complain when things don’t go your way. To ensure a prompt response to all complains be sure to send them in a multi-colored email with varying font sizes so that we know exactly what we’re doing wrong and how you’re a much better hasher than everyone listed here.

CHICAGO H3 MISMANAGEMENT 2016

NOTE: There are currently a few open mismanagement positions – this is a great way for hashers of any experience level to get involved in the hash and make the lives of all hashers easier. If you’re interested in any of the open positions or in assisting one of the people listed below, please contact da GM.

GM – DR. COCKVORKIAN
The Grand Poobah – when every other member of mismanagement throws up their hands and yells “Not In Charge” you should contact the GM to make sure your voice is properly ignored heard. Be advised that the GM is very busy making sure the hash actually runs smoothly, so it may take a while for them to get back to you.

RA – GOLDEN SHARTCHES & ???
Once trail has finished the the pack arrives at their final destination, that’s when it is time for some hash religion and the RA takes over to leads us in song. Anything and everything that happened whilst out on trail is fair game for the RA and nobody is safe.
NOTE: We’ve been made aware that Golden Shartches is soon to leave the great city of Chicago, with this is mind we’ll be looking for a new RA soon. If you’re interested in assisting, please let us know, as we can arrange a few months of “apprenticeship” before taking over full time.

Hare Razer – LIFA
Want to show the Chicago Hash House Harriers how a proper trail is set? Then you need to talk to the Hare Razer. Be warned, the Hare Razer may also resort to dirty tricks like getting you drunk at a hash and getting you to sign up to hare when you won’t remember it. That’s just the sign that they’re doing a good job.

Haberdasher – ???
Visitors, virgins, and rebooted hashers are always looking to pay us their hard earned money for some awesome hash swag, so that’s why we have the Haberdasher. The Haberdasher is responsible for making sure the haberdashery gets to and from the hash, that enough inventory is maintained, and that new haberdashery is ordered at the appropriate times.
NOTES: We’re currently looking for a Haberdasher, and with the recently set up haberdashery page, we can set it up so that you’ll only have to bring shit to the hash when people request it.

Beer Wench – DRILL IN MY BOX, TWO GIRLS ONE CUPCAKE & ???
Are you getting quite parched? Better find yourself a Beer Wench and get your vessel filled with a delicious beverage. Be warned, often the Beer Wrench will fill your vessel extra full and ensure that you get called in for a particularly egregious violation of hash traditions. Trust the Beer Wench about as far as you can throw them.
NOTE: The Beer Wench is a low-key mismanagement position. If you’re good at carrying pitchers of beer and paying the bartender to keep the beer flowing you’d make an excellent Beer Wench – we’re always looking for more.

Hash Scribe – ???
Some people have the ability to remember everything that happened no matter how drunk they get. Some people also have the gift of gab. Add those two things together and you have the Hash Scribe, somebody who writes up a couple paragraphs of anything interesting that happened at the hash and makes sure that it gets posted here on the website as a Hash Trash/Tale of the Trail so that future hashers know just how epic we hashers were before age took their toll on our bodies and specifically our livers.
NOTES: We haven’t had a dedicated Hash Scribe in quite a while, it sure would be nice to have one again.

Hash Flash – ???
Have an eye for photography? How about you just really like having your phone out snapping pictures all the time? Both things make you qualified to be a Hash Flash. Hashing creates some great memories in some interesting places with some unforgettable people, so having pictures to show people of what happened is always important, especially because beer does this thing with our memories.
NOTES: This is another position that we haven’t had in a while, but with the newly rebooted website, it sure would be nice to show off some great photos, especially those taking place on trail or at beer stops.

Webmaster – FEATHER
Is the website not working? Talk to the Webmaster. Though, if the website isn’t working then you wouldn’t be able to access this page telling you to talk to the Webmaster, but that’s neither here nor there. You’d probably better save their information to bother him when things aren’t working, just in case.

Designer – SNATCHSQUATCH
Like or dislike something that’s actually on the webpage? The information for your upcumming hash is incorrect and needs to be fixed? Then you need to talk to the Designer. Nobody else is going to be able to help you because nobody else cares can.

Muffin Top – Roofie Ragu
Want tacos? The Muffin Top wants tacos. All the tacos. Follow the Muffin Top at the conclusion of the hash and there’s a high probability that you’ll find yourself eating tacos.