Chicago Hash House Harriers

Hash Trash: 11/18/07
Hares: Just Molly & Just Katherine
Venue: J & M Tap

VIRGINS: J Cubed, Just John
VISITORS:
HASHERS: Just Steve, Chicken Stiffer, Just Rob, Horn-e, Boner, Frosted Discharge, Its Too Soft, Just Rob, Princess Labia, Good Swallow, Chip�n Dale, Balz, Sex Luthor, Green Goblin, Mount Schwiiinga, Lifa, Just Josh, Just Marty
VIRGINS= 2
VISTORS=0
TOTAL HASHERS= 23

The hash weekend started with the hello To SMELL THIS and goodbye to BONER party on Saturday night. We had numerous people show up. HUMPY DUMBTY, SMELL THIS, BONER, CHICKEN, MOUTHFUL, SUPER STUFFER, LATE AGAIN, ODOR EATER, ROTTEN WHORE, ONE HANDED TYPIST, JUST CRAIG, ITS to SOFT, CUMS IN MY ASSFAULT and others for a total of about 25 people who came out for this CH3 drinking party.
This hash started at the famed J & M tap and was hared by our virgin hares JUST MOLLY and JUST KATHERINE. They had originally chosen a bar with no pitchers but made the fortuitous decision to call the GM and ask if this would be a problem to which I said Yes!! They made a good choice of making the J & M tap their ON-IN because we got $6 pitchers and some free pizza. The pack was off after we stuffed our bags in JUST ROBS truck. We welcomed JUST BALLS to the hash, a friend of MOUNT ME PUH�LZEE. The pack made their way to the outside and the hares did a great job in explaining the hash marks to our Virgins J CUBED and JUST JOHN. The pack ran down an alley and JUST ROB in his matching shoes and shorts lead the pack in the beginning. JUST STEVE was seen climbing every fence in sight much like MR. HYDE does in the movies. MOUNT SCHWIIINGA and BONER were holding down the back of the pack due to hangovers???? We ran by Clemente High School and crossed Division. The pack
made its way to Humboldt Park and ran around the lagoon. CHIP�N DALE was the leader at this point with our Virgins and found trail going west to the beer stop at the home of JUST MOLLY and JUST KATHERINE. They served us icehouse, which should have been called Warm House?? We stayed there for a few minutes while JUST MOLLY burned her fingers inside on the oven. She goes to U of Chicago and doesn�t know what an oven mitt is?? The pack was soon on out and LIFA was quick to find trail back to the bar with SEX LUTHOR and the GREEN GOBLIN.
Back at the bar the pack had to wait until the Bears halftime because the game started at 3 pm. If the NFL hadn�t changed the start time only the week before we would have run this hash at 1 pm so the pack wouldn�t piss of the bar patrons by singing during the game. This caused a few hashers to leave early and the circle was started around 5 pm, about 30 minutes after we got back. We punished the hares for such a wonderful trail. The FRB was JUST ROB. JUST STEVE was pointed out for being a racist in the hash because he was happy to beat JUST ROB to the beer stop. JUST MOLLY also accused JUST ROB for stealing JUST HARRSONS birthday cake but that is perfectly acceptable hash behavior so we made JM drink with her co-hare. We sent off JUST BONER to Florida with the song �IT�S A SMALL DICK AFTER ALL!!!� after he requested the song a 12 inch hard-on!! Nice try BONER!!! We welcomed J Cubed and Just John to the hash as virgins they are looking to start a hash in
Bloomington, Illinois. We wish them well and the Chicago Hash will support their efforts. WE welcomed back our 6-month reboot FROSTED DISCHARGE who has been running races over the summer. MOUNT SCHWIINGA has been busily creating the ANTHRAX logo for the hash this year and then the Circle was closed because the Bears game was back on. The pack was disappointed but I felt it was better to close the circle then risk making the regulars mad and anyways we did eat most of their pizza and ate JUST ROBS cake!!! Just to let you know he really did not steal it but it was a good story that many people believed? The pack proceeded to break up and BONER was really getting wasted. He even had to run out the back door to enter the spew-a-thon contest that was caused by JUST STEVES shot. PRINCESS LABIA showed up and we wished her luck at the Volleyball game along with MOUNT SCHWIIINGA. ITS TOO SOFT, BONER and I took off for home after we said goodnight to the Hares. BONER and
I picked up food and he stayed at my place but what was really funny was the program we watched on the BBC. Check it out if you have a chance. BONER was total enthralled with this show. SEE YOU ALL AND HAVE A GREAT TURKEY DAY.
http://www.bbcamerica.com/content/250/index.jsp

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

Hash Trash: 11/11/07
Hares: Chicken Stiffer
Venue: Mad River

VIRGINS: Just Marybeth, Just Jessica
VISITORS: Sugar
HASHERS: Just Steve, Just Jonathan, Its Too Soft, Horn-e, Are They Real, Stab�em and Slab�em, Stupid Man, Just Molly, Cunt and Pasties, Lifa, Rotten Whore, Virgin banger, Renta Virgin, Just Rob, Mouthful of Meat, Just Patrick, Super Stuffer, Peterbilt, Mount Van Tramp, Bloody Thighs, Odor Eater
VIRGINS= 2
VISTORS=1
TOTAL HASHERS= 25

Well this hash was a live trail and was set after the Mismanagement meeting ended. The Hare was Chicken and we welcomed JUST MARYBETH and JUST JESSICA to the hash for their very first run. Since I hared I do not know much about what happened on trail but I heard JUST MOLLY say I can�t believe CHICKEN found every single alley and alleyway in the Lakeview neighborhood. The Hare was technically caught because he stopped to break up a 3×6 foot piece of drywall and also had to buy beer. ITS TOO SOFT, JUST MOLLY and CUNT and PASTIES made the catch around Sheffield and Diversey very near the home of ITS TOO SOFT. We had some good beer to drink on the roof deck and that made LIFA a very happy hasher. SUGAR our visitor enjoyed the view and the hash put the roof deck to bed until next summer. We made it back to the bar where MOUTFUL OF MEAT was enjoying free shots of some Italian liquor? The Hash also enjoyed half price Philly cheese steaks!!! The circle was started by LIFA
and the hare was punished. The circle was turned over to HORN-E because it was Veterans Day and he dusted the cobwebs off his RA suit and led the circle. STUPID MAN got to drink for his NAVY affiliation. ITS TOO SOFT was busy watching the Football game so he was nailed with technology in the circle. We said hi to our visitor SUGAR and welcomed our virgins STAB�EM and SLAB�EM and BLOODY THIGHS?????? What? VIRGIN BANGER and RENTA VIRGIN made an appearance and are eagerly awaiting the next Memorial Day Hash!!! JUST MOLLY and JUST PATRICK were seen leaving together??? ROTTEN WHORE had too much to drink so she called the ODOR to pick her up!!! JUST JONATHAN looked scrumptious in his tiara and JUST STEVE is ready for his ADD hash in two weeks. Overall we had a fun day!!!

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

Hash Trash: 11/4/07 ASS FAMILY HASH
Hares: Lifa and Bloody Thighs
Venue: McKellians

VIRGINS: Just Dan, Just Justin, Just Tim
VISITORS: Gnome Nuts- Hagerstown Hash
HASHERS: Chicken Stiffer, Just Steve, Just Jonathan, At Your Cervix, One handed Typist, Its Too Soft, W�all Bangher, Horn-e, Erect da Red, Sir Poops A lot, Special Head, Are They Real, Stab�em and Slab�em, Just Jenn, Moldy Man Sac, Mount Me Puh�lzee, AssMan, Mudsucker, Virtually Hung, Coffee, Tea, or Me, Just Hannah
VIRGINS= 3
VISTORS=1
TOTAL HASHERS= 27

This hash was run out of the northern most Bar in Chicago, McKellians. Our hares were LIFA and BLOODY THIGHS, and they set two trails one for the turkeys and one for the eagles. They lead us in a quick circle and we were soon off on trail. Just Dan and Just Justin were out leading the pack even though they were virgins but that happens from time to time. About � mile into the trail we hit the turkey-eagle split and hashers like ARE THEY REAL, JUST STEVE, and JUST JONATHAN took the turkey split. ITS TOO SOFT and CHICKEN joined them as well because we were beat from celebrating the 30th anniversary in Madison. JUST JUSTIN and JUST MOLLY joined us for a great weekend in Wisconsin. The others like VIRTUALLY HUNG, MUDSUCKER and SIR POOPS A LOT took the eagle trail which ran by BLOODY THIGHS school and Trash mountain. The trail for the turkeys was lead by STAB�EM and SLAB�EM for most of the day and she had some help from JUST JENN as well. The trail for the turkeys led
to a park off of Western Ave. and ended on the sledding hill there. The pack was a little disappointed that they couldn�t find beer for ten-minutes but things worked out in the end when the Hares showed up with beer in ten-minutes. ARE THEY REAL had to be driven back to the on in so she could see the actually goats that were on trail. I followed ASSMAN back to the ON IN and we were informed by the bar owner that he had tons of meat for us to cook, now if we just had SUPER STUFFER to cook for us!! I lead the circle and tried to keep it short because there was food to be had. The FRB�s were MOLDY and STAB�EM and SLAB�EM. The DFL was ARE THEY REAL for she also auto hashed. JUST TIM was brought into the circle by MOUNT ME because this is the officer that wrote up the original ANTHRAX report that was touched off by ITS TOO SOFTS trail so we sang them Hash Tones. Remember the ANTHRAX hash is in a couple of weeks. We also eemed to have lost W�ALL BANGHER after the trail somewhere. JUST JENN, MOLDY, MOUNT ME and SPECAIL HEAD drank for being the REBOOTS. The circle was soon closed and we sang swing low. The hash made a dash for the grill outside where ARE THEY REAL was busy dropping hamburgers through the grill making blackened burgers. We really enjoyed seeing COFFEE with her little HANNAH at the hash. JUST JONATHAN and JUST STEVE are kicking around the idea of laying an ADD hash where we all take Adderal? Our visiting hasher GNOME NUTS stuck around for a while and had his dinner and now we have a contact in the Virginia area. SEE YOU ALL NEXT WEEK at he MISMANAGEMEN MEETING which starts at NOON!!

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

CHICAGO HALLOWEEN HASH
HARES: BLOODY THIGHS and FULL TERM
VIRGIN: JUST ROB
VISITOR: TOTALLY GAY, FULL TERM
HASHERS: My Ass Is Up for Grabs, Are They Real, Horn-e, One Handed
Typist, Sex Luthor, Just Alan, Just Jonathon, Just Steve, Just Peter,
Just James, Milk My Yak, Foot In Mouth, Johnny Cock Ring, Stabem and
Slabem, Just Rob, Just Katerine, Just Molly, Rotten Whore, Just
Ernest, Mouthful of Meat, Batteries Not Included, Calvin Klein,
Princess Labia, Happy Ass Grabber, Flying Hooters, Lochness Cockster,
Its Too Soft, Two Tickets too Pair a Thighs, Lifa, Virgin Banger,
Rena virgin I’m Late Again, Lower Whackoff, Peterbilt, Assman, Just
John

TOTAL HASHERS= 40

The Hash was started from the usually place on the North side, The
Pumping Company or the old sizzle. BLOODY THIGHS and FULL TERM laid
a great trail through the Loyola campus and Rogers Park area. JOHNNY
COCK RING and FOOT IN MOUTH made a special appearance today because
we have not seen them for over six months in the CH3. We also
welcomed TOTALLY GAY to the hash today, and oh my gosh there were two
Horn-es really scary!!! BLOODY THIGHS did a quick chalk talk and
LIFA showed up with is bed pan full of brown candy?? After the talk
was given the pack was off but was quickly sucked into a circle
jerk. JUST ROB and I found the circle and went off north after a
split we guessed wrong so we short cut east and caught HAPPY ASS
GRABBER and JUST MOLLY off the next split. The trail continued to
the east until it hit the lake near Loyola and then went thru the
campus. JUST STEVE and JUST JONATHON were following along behind
with JUST ALAN in tow.
The pack became stymied by a check that went through the Science
building on campus but they soon found the right path when they
followed CALVIN KLIEN and FLYING HOOTERS to the check on Sheridan.
Here the trail went west with the flag bearing JUST ROB leading the
pack. Virgin JUST ROB found the trail behind a church and called the
pack to follow and soon we were at the home of STUMP HUMPER and
PRINCESS LABIA enjoying some gold and cold liquid. We found out we
had two Jesus costumes on trail with CALVIN and VIRGIN BANGER. TWO
TICKETS was cutely dressed as a PUSSSSYYYYYY cat!! ONE HANDED
TYPIST was the second blues brother Jake. The pack soon finished
their beers and got out of there. WE made our way back to the bar
and the owner of the bar gave us $4 pitchers of beer!! CALVIN ran
the circle in that tight space. We welcomed JUST ROB our virgin to
the hash. CHICKEN STIFFER was the FRB. DFL was RENTA VIRGIN??? ITS
TOO SOFT was making high interest loans in the circle and was
punished. FBI was JUST KATHERINE. The circle was soon closed but
JUST ALAN and JUST ERNEST were sent away for a naming. When they
returned JUST ALAN was named SUPER STUFFER for stuffing his superman
costume and JUST ERNEST was welcomed into the MOUNT family by being
named MOUNT VON TRAMP by the numerous ladies of the hash.

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3- GM