Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1483

Tale of the Trail – Chicago Hash #1483 Post Shamrock Shuffle

Hare: Lifa
Venue: J & M Tap
HASHERS: Calvin Klein, Batteries not Included, Coffee, Tea, and Me, Mount-Me Puhlzee, Horn-e, Lifa, Cum in my Assfault, It’s too Soft, Chicken Stiffer, Barks on all Fours, Virtually Hung, Erect de Red, Spotted Cock, Mouthful of Meat, Stump Humper, Sir Poops A Lot, Special Head, Cheap Date, Just Faith, Just Patti, Just Hannah, Or G

The GM showed up late due to CTA problems on the Blue Line maybe I should have listened to 69-CENTS MANS warning about slow trains on the Blue line. When I got there at 2:40 pm there were 20+ hashers to greet me. Even LIFA thought this would be a small crowd due to the Shamrock Shuffle, but if you lay it they will come LIFA. I guess it did help to have an 80-degree day. Most of the pack were wearing their green shirts from GDR and may others their shirts from the Shamrock Shuffle. LIFA with the surprised look on his face gave the chalk talk and said, “GO SOUTH you wankers!” The pack was off VIRTUALLY HUNG took the early FRB position while COFFEE, TEA, or ME, BARKS ON ALL FOURS, and JUST HANNAH brought up the rear. It was great to talk with STUMP HUMPER up at the front of the pack for a little bit nice to see you back!!

‘SIR POOPS A LOT and SPECIAL HEAD brought the great weather with them from Hawaii so thanks guys. Soon we got stuck at a check on Chicago Ave? It looked like MOUNT ME employed his police talents and interrogated that trail till it gave up the goods on which way to run!! SPOTTED COCK even was in the spirit of the green wearing his green Waukesha t-shirt. The pack went north and ran by the Norwegian Hospital near Garfield Park, and we didn’t even lose ERECT DE RED when he saw his countries flag!! IT”S too SOFT was snapping pictures left and right. The trail entered Garfield Park and on such a warm day it was beautiful. HORN-E found trail heading west but the CHICKEN found a short cut to the Promised Land. We wound around the Lagoon and the old Boathouse. The trail went east from here and seemed to be gunning for a familiar hashers HOUSE?? The trail ran by Clemente High School and Puerto Rican flags were seen in abundance. MOUTHFUL of MEAT somehow got to the beer stop first and was the FRB AND FBI today. The beer stop was at CASA de BONER, but where was BONER??? HMMM maybe still hung over??? The pack had a few gold and cold ones and jogged back to the J&M tap.

Here we saw CALVIN and BATTERIES waiting for us along with ASSFAULT. Even CHEAP DATE made it out today and she came all the way from Brazil to hash today!! CALVIN ran the circle and down-downs were handed out to the usually suspects. ITS got one for his mixed up hash dates. THE 1500 is on JULY 21st you goof. CALVIN got one for the great weather. ERECT DE RED got one for getting his 1st hash tag. About this time JUST FAITH and JUST PATTI made it to the circle all sweaty and hot. They too got their down-down for being the DFL’s. see you next week for April 1st hash

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

CH3 #1483

Chicago HHH #1483
Post Shamrock Shuffle Hash
Hare(s): Lifa
Venue: JM Tap – 957 N Leavitt
TIME: 2 pm

Also next week on Saturday March 31, 2007 Several Chicago Hashers are going to Fort Wayne for the F-troop 1-year Analiversary hash. Cost is $35. Many of you have said you want visitors here in Chicago well the Small F-Troop hash had 10 people show for GDR and that was their whole hash! If you want to go to this hash please contact me and we can see if we can get you a ride there. We will be back for April 1 hash in Chicago!

http://www.ftrooph3.com/

Chicken Stiffer
CH3-GM

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1481

Chicago Hash #1481
March 11, 2007
Hare: PUKE SUIT RIOT & SINGLE WIDE MOBILE HO
Venue: CASA de SINGLE WIDE
Visitor: Pied Piper
Attendees: Sugar Nipples, Canned Pussy, Batteries not Included, Calvin Klein, Virtually Hung, Chicken Stiffer, Bloody Thighs, Pussy Galore, Horn-e, Rear Loader, Magnetic Muff, Pardon My Flaps, Bloody Diarrhea, Just Ramsey, and Just Gunner,

PUKE SUIT RIOT laid one of Chicago’s best trails in a long time and it was live too!!! The day was so beautiful that we didn’t mind starting around 2:40 pm after giving the hare a 10-minute hare start. The trail started off south and wound through the neighborhoods west of the tracks, Roscoe Village I believe. The Hash flag was up front for most of the day with Chicken Stiffer doing the honors of carrying it. Props have to be given to VIRTUALLY HUNG for dragging around a dog all day long or was JUST GUNNER dragging him?? The trail came to a check and SUGAR NIPPLES kept calling are you? Are you? And a Chicago resident asked are you what?? Well he was no hasher!! The trail went west and came to a check near Ashland and Ravenswood. CHICKEN went south and was soon DFL but PUSSY GALORE and BLOODY THIGHS found the trail going north. I was surprised that the canine patrol of SINGLE WIDE MOBILE HO & JUST RAMSEY with PARDON MY FLAPS & BLOODY DIARRHEA were not able to sniff out this trail. I guess the dogs are not bloodhounds. The trail kept going north and soon CHICKEN was back with the pack and changed status from DFL to FRB again weird this was. HORN-e and VIRTUALLY HUNG were off on a wild goose chase up near the corner of Lincoln and Damen. Its not a bad place to get lost though with several German Brauhaus in the area one would never go thirsty!! About this time REAR LOADER showed up but in a car. He tried to run down an unnamed hasher. The pack also saw HARRY MANHOLE on trail he has not been back with us from sometime. Maybe next week he said.

The pack found the beer stop under the el-tracks near Irving Park Road, this was welcome relief for the thirsty pack. PUKE SUIT was given a few more minutes to lay trail out but I believe most of the pack bailed on him and ran straight back to the house. The FRB for the day was BLOODY THIGHS. Back at the house the Pack was treated to numerous goodies and plenty of beer. We also were witness to numerous dog porno scenes because JUST GUNNER mounted BLOODY DIARRHEA and began to give him the business. I hope BD isn’t scared for life. Our trusty RA CALVIN KLEIN ran the circle. The most interesting accusation of the day was BATTERIES apparent lack of electrical expertise because when she installed her ceiling fan the light goes on when you turn on the microwave and the fan starts when you turn on the TV, and she is an Electrician?? Well have a good week everyone and remember next week is GREEN DRESS in St. Louis and I still have a few rooms left for anyone to join us. Looks like we have 18 Chicago hashers going to join 120 other hashers in the BIG-HUMP.

Chicken Stiffer
CH3-GM

1500th Haring Committee

Calling All Hares,

The 1500th committee is asking for volunteers to hare for the July 21st CH3 1500th Hash. If you think you have the ears to hare this momentous event then please submit your name and be counted. Those people that submit their names to hare this event will be asked to comply with a few requirements.

1. The hare will have to lay trail from the venue designated by the committee.
2. The hare will have overall charge of the trail but needs to show a general outline of their trail to the 1500th committee at a minimum 2 weeks before the event. The committee does NOT want to control the trail but needs to see that planning has occurred.
3. The Hare may hire any Co-Hares he or she wishes to help lay trail.
4. The Hare will help the committee decide where and how many beer stops will be on the trail.

Those people that submit their names to hare will be place on a ballot or poll. The entire membership of the CH3 will then vote whom they would like to hare for this date. We have a lot of great hares out there so please give this careful consideration.

Chicken Stiffer
CH3-GM

Tale of the Trail – CH3 #1479

Tale of the Trail – Chicago Hash #1479

Feb. 25 #1479 the Hash Ball Hangover Hash

Hare: Chicken Stiffer-CH3 GM
Virgin: Just Lindsey
Locals: Cunt & Pasties, Smell This, Boner Malfunction, Two Tickets too a Pair a Thighs, Flying Hooters, Mount Schwinga, Its too Soft, Cum in My Assfault, Horn-e, Just Do Me Slowly, Virtually Hung, and Calvin Klein

The hash started late because it was waiting for a carload of hashers arriving from Casa De SMELL THIS. He had with him BONER, TWO TIKS, and MOUNT SCHWINGA. It turns out that TWO TIKS never even made it home from hash ball and was wearing other people’s clothes to hash this day. The weather was very shitty this day we had rain, sleet, snow, etc. and the ground was covered with giant puddles of cold wet water. The Trail was short but between Casa De CHICKEN and the bar I believe the hash found every major puddle, pothole and ice patch.
The hash was very happy that the run was about a mile because most were still hung over from the previous night. Even BONER who partied in Lisle claimed to be a little tired from Saturday’s fun. BONER even brought a virgin with him this day JUST LINDSEY welcome to the hash and please show up for the Green Dress run in St. Louis March 17. VIRTUALLY HUNG played the role of FRB for the better part of the trail while CNT & PASTIES took care of our virgin making sure she didn’t get lost on trail. FLYING HOOTERS and ITS TOO SOFT were found impersonating monkeys when they climbed fences to get themselves over Amazon River found in one of the alleys the trail went through. TWO TICKETS looked like a bunny running with her pink jacket on.

The Hash made it to the beer stop and watched the beginning of the OSU vs. Wisc. Basketball game but they were soon back out on trail and at the bar. The Circle was run by the CH3 RA CALVIN KLEIN who was found without BATTERIES claiming that she was wasted from the night before. The hare got down- downs for the crappy trail but really got nailed because he was smart enough to wear his boots on Trail; I guess this made the circle mad because my feet were dry. The circle ended in record time and MOUNT SCHWINGA was soon challenging some chicks on the dartboard. The hash broke for home around 6 pm where we watched the Oscars and all went to bed with a fine weekend of drinking behind us.

CHICKEN STIFFER
CH3-GM

Hash Ball & Hash Erections 2007

Hash Ball 2007

February 24, 2007

2007 Attendees: Lower Wack-off, Too Loose to Screw, Flying Hooters, Two-tickets to a pair a Thighs, Smell This, Hooked on Tonics, Milk my Yak, Barks on all Fours, Nuttin Bitch, CP, Batteries not Included, Calvin Klein, Spotted Cock, Ballsalotapus, Chicken Stiffer, Odor Eater, Rotten Whore, Erect da Red, Mount me Puh-leeze, Coffee, Tea or Me, Just Lou, Mount Schwinga, Sugar Nipples, Lifa, Princess Labia, Magnetic Muff, Rear Loader, Mud Sucker, Pardon my Flaps, Its Too Soft, Cum in my Assfault, and Virtully Hung.

Well Hash Ball really began at 7:30 pm damn that GM for telling you all 7 pm but with the bad weather I’ll bet most of you were happy with the extra 1/2 hour warning. The Ball went very well and major thanks go out to Odor Eater for the entertainment and Rotten Whore for organizing the event. We had 33 brave Hashers make it out this blizzard of night to be present and accounted for the Chicago Hash Harriers award night and GM election. The hash enjoyed tasty food and plenty of beer someone made out like a bandit and took home a pan full of leftover chicken and pasta. I wish I had a car to drive it home!!!

The Awards were handed out and the winners were:

Best Trail of 2006 – Calvin and Batteries for their Yucca Dance in Lincoln Park.
Worst Trail of 2006 – Ez on the Ass for his trail crossing jailbreak hash.
Best On-In – The Memorial Day Hash at Virgin Bangers and Rent-a-Virgin, with Peterbilt, Smell this, and Calvin Klein.
Front Running Bastard – Happy Ass Grabber
Front Running Bimbo – Flying Hooters
Best Beer Stop – Rear Loader and Horn-E for their 8-beer stop Trail.
DFL – CP
Non-Running Wussy – Smell This
Hash Bimbo – Magnetic Muff and her naked hashes
Hash Wanker – Ez on the Ass for paying hash cash in Chinese money
Hash Shit – Mudsucker for gas beer at the Southside parade
Hash Couple – Mount Me Puh leeze and Coffee, Tea or Me
Bill January Award – Boner Malfunction

GOLD WHISTLE AWARD – Its too Soft for going above and beyond the call of hash Duty

And The NEW GM is the OLD GM– Chicken Stiffer

Hash Ball Wound down around Midnight and the hashers trekked through the blizzard of 2007 to get home or to the next bar. One side note was that LIFA missed his train downtown and had to stay at the GM’s house overnight, poor Lifa.

Chicken Stiffer