Beer in a Box 2017

Beer in a Box 2016 – Sunday 4/2 – 9:00 AM
Venue: Buckingham Fountain
Hash Cash: Whatever drink tickets you can get the racists to donate to the cause

From da GM: Once again, Chicago hashers will be gathering just north of Buckingham Fountain for our Post-Shamrock Shuffle “Beer in a Box” celebration. We start as soon as the runners finish running 8k. Wave 1 starts at 8:30AM; wave 2 starts at 9:15AM. You could be drinking by 9AM, but the majority of the group will probably start gathering closer to 9:30-10AM. The group usually congregates just north of Buckingham Fountain along the fence. Be sure to ask people for beer tickets as you approach the finish line and racists leave for their cars.

CH3 #2088

Chicago Hash House Harriers Run # 2088
Sunday, Mar 26, 2017, 2PM

Venue: Miska’s – 3205 N Leavitt
Hares: I Eat Dick, Panda, & Rainbow

From da Hares: We like Miska’s so much that we’re setting trail from there for Thirstday AND Chicago. Brilliant!

From da GM: I’ll be at Green Dress in St. Louis, so when this inevitably turns into a disaster please direct all complaints to Horn E.

Hash Ball 2017

Chicago Hash House Harriers
Hash Ball 2017
February 25 – 7PM-10PM

Venue: Stanley’s Kitchen – 1970 N. Lincoln Ave
Hash Cash: $40 in advance, $45 at the door
Theme: The 90s!

From da GM: Join us as we celebrate another year of hashing with our annual Hash Ball celebration – we’ll be revealing the results of our most recent Hash Erections, so if you’ve been nominated you should make the extra effort to attend just in case you win. Your cash will get you three hours of beers and mixed drinks (7PM-10PM), as well as Stanley’s popular food in the form of sliders, chicken tenders, and flatbread pizza.

Payment: Fill out the form below and upon completion follow the instructions for payment.

Hash Tools

Hash Tools

| Hare Guide | Hash Bar Map |
| Hash Song Book | Hash Calendar |

No, we’re not talking about Hashing Tools as in all the dude-bros that hang around the hash attempting to get on all of our inebriated members, we’re talking about Hashing Tools as in the tips, tricks, and other shit that can make you an even better hasher (you’re already great, just the way you are). Want a tip about laying trail? We’ve got you covered. A rarely-sung song to make yourself look all the more impressive when visiting another hash? Natch. A bar that nobody has ever bothered to hash out of that’s also impossible to get to via public transportation? You’re speaking my language! Sit back, relax, and get ready to become the best hasher that you can be!

Haring Guide
Hashing is easy – haring less so. There’s a million things that can go wrong out there, and they usually will. Prepare yourself and read the Haring Guide – this will help ensure that the down-downs you earn in circle are because your trail was actually tolerable and not a sloppy mess.

Hash Bar Map
Struggling to think of a place to have your next Hash Run out of? We’ve got you covered. The Hash Bar Map includes on 800 points of interest (and almost 500 bars) that have either hosted a hash in the past or are primed to host a hash in the future. The Hash Bar Map is by no means an exhaustive listing of the bars in Chicago, but it is a great place to start.

Hash Song Book
Running and drinking aren’t the only thing that the Hash House Harriers are known for – there’s also circle and the all of our wonderful songs! The Hash Song Book includes lyrics to almost 100 of the most popular songs sung by the Chicago Hash House Harriers. Impress everyone with your inability to carry a tune by memorizing everything inside of the Hash Song Book and you could even be the next Chicago Hash House Harriers RA.

Chicagoland Hash Calendar
Can’t make it to the regularly scheduled run of the Chicago Hash House Harriers? Fear not, there are a bevy of other hashing options for you in and around Chicago. Just check out the Chicagoland Hash Calendar for all of the hashing options for you in and around our beautiful city.

Anthrax Hoodie Re-Order

Hello miscreants!

Were you a damned fool who missed out on the amazing Anthrax hoodies? Were you one of those annoying son of a bitches who bothered me all day during Anthrax while I was trying to run everything else? Are you a total asshole?

Well urine luck! Because I’m going to take orders for more of those goddamned hoodies. You saw how fucking nice they were, don’t fuck up again, order a fucking hoodie.

See Photo below of the hoodie and just how cool you could look accusing some random schmuck during circle.

Just fill out this fucking form:

Gimme $35 of your electronic scrilla:

Depending on how many people from kennels order, we may work out a shipping plan, but that shit ain’t cheap and I don’t work at the Post Office so you bitches will have to pay for it. Add notes on how you’d like to get this big old package in the comments.

Get to it because this is the last time I order this shit.

Leave me alone,


Super Bowl Kickball 2017

Super Bowl Kick Ball 2017 – 10:30AM
Venue: Jonquil Park
Hash Cash: BYOB

From da It’s Too Soft: February Madness is back again for 2017 with “Lunatic Bowl XVII” on Super Bowl Sunday in the traditional frosty confines of Jonquil Park in Lincoln Park. Yes this sounds completely insane but just ask anyone who’s done it before… you just can’t pay for this kind of entertainment!!

Here’s the tradition – on Super Bowl Sunday Festa’s old school crew would gather at Jonquil Park (Wrightwood, Sheffield & Lincoln) around 10:30am for friendly game of kickball in the snow and to have a few drinks. With orange traffic cones as the bases (regular white bases don’t show well in the snow) and there would be traditional “team meetings” between innings to take hits from a bottle of Mad Dog kept under the second base cone.

A group of 12-15 is ideal and it’s a great warmup for all those Super Bowl parties later in the day. As you are playing kickball in the snow (and some are also drinking), little or no athletic ability is required or makes much of a difference. Yes, this is the same game of kickball we played in third grade.

In keeping with ritual and tradition the 2017 game will be held at the spiritual home of Festa Super Bowl Sunday Kickball, Jonquil Park at the intersection of Wrightwood, Sheffield & Lincoln. It’s also close to environmentally-friendly public transportation (Fullerton Red/Brown Line, Sedgwick 37, Fullerton 74, Halsted 8, Diversey 76 and Clark 22 buses) and parking is usually quite ample for Beverly Hills 60614 as it’s Sunday.

Note this is a Chicago Park District property so please don’t show up with a half barrel, a case of beer or other conspicuous alcohol. Bottles in bags or pre-mixed drinks have done us well in the past.

I will bring all the sporting goods (traffic cones and foursquare balls) for the game thanks to my participation in kickball league in Milwaukee back in the day so just come as you are and bring yourself and your favorite refreshment i.e. “warm you up drink” (like schnapps, hard cider, Mad Dog, etc) or any nonalcoholic potables for those so inclined.

I will try and get Festa himself to make another celebrity appearance at this event he originally founded back in the ’90’s for a classic matchup between Team Fuji “the Harlem Globetrotters” vs. Team Festa “the Washington Generals”.

As always there will be lots of post-kickball actual Super Bowl (the other game that day) activities to choose from and postgame we’ll probably have a drink or two and warm up at a nearby tavern as there are a “few” bars on Lincoln between Fullerton & Diversey.

A few quick things to keep in mind:

1) Please remember this is the beginning of February in CHICAGO so despite alleged global warming it will likely be VERY COLD and usually there will be snow on the ground so please dress appropriately. Speaking of which, this is an outdoor game so wear something you don’t mind getting a little dirt/mud/grass/snow on if you plan to play (cheering sections are welcome too).

2) I will be there a little early to setup. Games will start after we get rough quorum and run as long as people are in the mood to play.

3) Please remember this is a Chicago Park District park so those who want to bring “grownup drinks” please be discreet. Note that many of us are watching some sort of football game afterwards (likely with more grownup drinks too) so pacing is not a bad idea.

4) The other usual playground rules apply – three strikes is a strikeout, as is a foul ball third strike (like in softball), there are no walks (everyone has to kick!). Runners cannot lead on bases and deliberate throws to the head are discouraged. Teams will be chosen odd/evens (avoid the dreaded “last picked in gym class syndrome”) and best out of three in rock-paper-scissors will determine which team kicks first.

5) Please don’t forget this is for fun. Those deemed “playing too competitively” may find themselves doing penalty shots of Mad Dog and/or Boone’s Farm. And don’t make me bust out the Malort. We will have longer than usual between inning breaks for folks to socialize too (another tradition).

See y’all Super Bowl Sunday 10:30am @ Jonquil Park! Game on!