Tale of the Trail – Chicago Hash #1484
The Chicago Hash, 1 Apr 2007 by Horn-E
Princess Labia and Boner Malfunction laid this rainy trail. The RA, Calvin Klein will be punished for this. I counted 17 at the start. Not bad for a rainy day. That is, compared to recent numbers. So that was a surprise. They laid the trail in flour, so the marks weren’t to bad considering the rain. Well, that and the fact that it was a Boner Malfunction trail. We took off down some city streets. Hey, that is all there is around there. I caught a split and led to the first Check. Here is where we lost Calvin Klein and Smell This. The out trail was to close to the in trail and they followed the trail backwards, past the second beer check and to the first beer check. Meanwhile we ran in a light rain and finally hit a neighborhood grocery where Boner Malfunction was waiting with dollars for everyone to go in and pool their money together for six packs. We then headed over the Smell This‘s back porch to drink the beer. I managed to talk to Virtually Hung and found out that he was recruited as a hare to help carry something up to the third floor. That sounds like a keg. Why are we standing on a cold porch drinking bottles while there is a keg waiting? Then we were off again and following Calvin Klein who was now running what he already ran as he led us to the second beer stop in a park. Here we stood in the rain, drinking beer while there was a keg waiting for us at the finish, inside, warm, dry. Eventually we were off and we again followed Calvin Klein, which was good because the marks were being washed away by this time. He led us to a third beer stop. A third beer stop. We have a keg waiting. Oh. this one is in a porn shop. An adult toy store. We had beer in one hand while we fondled various toys with the other. Hmmm. Barks On All Fours was off looking for something special with Milk My Yak. That trapeze looked great. Chicken Stiffer was trying to remember which flag was his, the red one in the back room or the rainbow one in the store. Its Too Soft was taking pictures of various things for ideas for his next rooftop party. Speckle Bird, yes Speckle Bird actually came out. He was looking for bottle rockets and hair spray. Virgin Banger and Smell This were looking at a harness for Boner Malfunction for Memorial Day. Ernst Cummingway was off in the corner reading books and getting ideas for his next great novel novel. Just Mike was looking to get named in a threesome with Mount Schwinga and Two Tickets To Pair Of Thighs. Mount him between their thighs and buy him two tickets to Schwinga heaven. I was just looking for all of these great toys I wanted to try out with Cum In My Ass Fault. Virtually Hung was looking at all of the dildos and thinking, THAT’S HUNG. Peter Cock In Tail was standing next to him and thinking about peters and cocks in tail. Hmmmm! And as for Princess Labia, think how convenient it is to live above this place. “Hold that position for a few minutes while I make a quick trip down stairs.” But back to beer. We still had beer up stairs and all of the bimbos blew their little penis whistles, again and again as they led us up to the heavens above. The keg was tapped, we drank, and Calvin Klein led us in a circle. Smell This and Calvin Klein for FRB. Barks On All Fours for DFL. Its a habit. FBI was Two Tickets To Pair Of Thighs. And our visitor from DC, Peter Cock In Tail, got a down down and sang us the Hot Vigina song. Eventually Flying Hooters showed up. Pizzas were served and I understand that some stayed until after midnight and the keg still wasn’t floating. Just a hint. If we are paying for a keg, perhaps we don’t need three beer stops with cans of beer, while some of the keg will go to waste. But that beer stop in the toy store was good. Best of the year so far.